A Dream, A Meaning?

I had a strange dream, well i've been having them just that this one was a little different. I was traveling home with 2 friends, a guy and a girl, one was susu i believe the guy...well... i'm just gonna keep that on a hush hush mode for now cause i don't know why i'm dreaming about him =D Anyway we traveled around and around and so many things happened but i can't seem to remember them now, but one thing stayed burnt in the back of my mind,

It was during the night, in a crowded place, i can't tell where. The place was lit up with vibrant lights and i was laughing...i don't remember why either, all i know is that i was happy with susu and the guy. Then, in the crowd appeared a face i recognized, a face i would never let go off no matter where i go, a face un-mistaken, never, because no matter what, i always search for that face. You were as you always were, with a guitar slung on your back, with that look on your face, funnily attractive fashion sense, with 2 friends i have never seen before by your side.

My heart races. In all excitement, I begin to run towards you, and ask you how're you. But you... just waved me off... you looked drunk. I tried to reach out once more, but again with an irritated face you pushed me away. Walking off now with your friends, leaving me in the crowd. Never looking back. And now i don't try to catch up to you as i normally would, i just stand there. Stuck with pain, all feelings have left my legs. My heart wrenches... i just crouch down and cry.

And i'm soon catapulted into a whole new scenario. Water...I'm lying down in a pool of water, maybe those are my tears, i don't know and the guy i was with pulled me up...and i wake up.

Waking up, the first thought was not of the pain. But instead i was worried for you, how stupid of me, i know. I reached for my phone, but i decided... no, i can't keep doing this. So i never did make myself talk to you. Cause after all, you wouldn't do the same for me now would you? Maybe my dream means something, maybe it's telling me that i should stop waiting for someone who doesn't even bother looking my way. I know that yet still...

I still think of you when i wake and before i sleep,
I even dream about you,
Gosh, what can i do to make thoughts of you leave me?
They say it's love when all you do is think about a person,
Well it's not love if only one person's doing it.
It's stupidity.
And yes,
I am stupid,
Stupid for still liking you.

February
Where are you?

ZOMG!

I just realized... looking back at my blog, only people who know whats going on in my life would actually know what the freaking hell i was talking about. Worse still, it's all almost about the same things, i posted up my freaking diary right here! Not that i have a diary but you get what i mean. And no i'm not gonna stop being selfish and not talk about what bothers me half of the time TEEHEE BECAUSE I CAN!

But yeah, anyway back to me, not that the topic ever left, i just freaked myself out. Well today i hung out with Dickson as usual and went totally bonkers with him and Emily during our choir practice by changing lyrics into lewd words, changing the tune of the song, pretending to be god.... yes we sorta did hahahaha. Ok so that was a quick summary of the day, but the gist of my post here is Brain Privacy. I can't give up details on what? who? why? where? how? and all but it goes along the lines of reading people like an open book.

Ever wondered what goes on in someone else's head? What if you could know most of the thoughts traveling around you? Cool? I say no! It's utterly freaky! I mean i can't read minds but you know how some stuff should just stay in one person's mind? yeah that sort of creepy. Anyhoo... is there a possibility that if you thought you knew what was in another person's head, you would act differently? Well yeah! you kinda would! My point being.... what if it's not real? Wouldn't that be like getting all your hopes up ready just to tear them down in the next second?
Sigh.... i can't explain it, more of i can't say this out.

To know what lies in the mind of others,
To believe you know what is hidden,
Especially when it involves emotions,
And you think you know it all,
The thought of it is promising,
But what if it's not real?
What then?
I've gotta get a grip.