We Laugh Till We Cry.

This post is waaaaaay overdue and it's shortened but I just had to put it up anyway. My blog, my rules.

So I got to hang out with one of my oldest besties, Sarah for like the whole day and I think it was just the best way to kick of the new year. We insult and we laugh and we laughed and laughed and insulted some more. All and any topics were thrown around, the past and the present was like a joke to us and it was free and nothing but happy.

So maybe I wanted to learn how to play the guitar at first but there's never enough time with us. We are close in the weirdest ways and that's one of reasons why it's fun.

Gotta have more of this in my life, as of now I have something similar but it's not the same. Can't wait to get home and meet with both of my besties them it'll officially be insane! =)

Oh and we camwhored a lot. Like A LOT! So we just merged it all together =D

Happy Birthday To A Fellow Retard Bastie!

To be honest i wanted to have this super.awesome.mindblating.heartstopping.viciouslyinsane.otherworldly.jawdropping blog post about your birthday and i wanted to use the blog post to make it up to you for actually..... dare i day it, FORGETTING YOUR BIRTHDAY. I'm really sorry woman but i did. Forgive me? I started the blog with bundles and bundles of enthusiasm, i was like "YEAH! I'm gonna do this shit!" but you know.... i just kinda you know got lazy as usual heh... So i'm just gonna cut to the chase and say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH LOIS DORAI!!!

Yes if you're wondering at this point, i did intentionally find the worst photo you had on Facebook >=)
Don't you just love me? hahahahaha

I find it ironic that i made such a fuss and merajuk-ed about you forgetting my birthday (which you claim you really you didn't, you just saw the wrong month pfft + yeah i'm never letting that go hahahaha but i knew you actually didn't), and i end up forgetting yours instead! Oh yeah i suck as a friend hands down. So the using the blog plan failed but to make it up to you, you can give me a flying kick if you want and insult the heck outta me when you do see me =D sound ok?

Warning this next part contains love
i do have a heart!!!

Strangers we were once, simple people who walked past each other exchanging only but a mere smile, only and only if necessary. Never did it cross our minds, or at least it's safe to say mine that we would ever be friends. Correction - best friends. Spending 5 years together in high school, it's funny to think we hadn't hit it off even in Form 1 maybe it was cause we were in different classes then. Hmm... i'm flipping through all the year books now and we weren't in the same class until form 3 and guess what? According to our 2008 year book we were in 4 BESTARI! hahahahah ah retarded Bukit Jalil....

Anyway so fine, the chances of us really getting to know each other was actually 3 years but that never happened, i still can't wrap my head around the thought of how was it we never really talked until Form 5. But when we did, it felt like we had known each other for as long as we lived and that we grew up together! What are the odds of that happening? Better still our moms know each other? SAY WHAAAAATTT? Freaking small world right? I don't remember how we started talking but i sure as hell never regretted talking to this "pengawas" kononnya hahahahahaha

Oh the insane things we did, me, you, helen and steph. It ranged from the average student... well with a tad bit o' rebelliousness and convict prone personalities
- The screaming, the "annoying the teachers", the wall-table-floor-randomplaces graffiti, the patrolling the school like a baus

To the reenactment and the use of movie quotes accompanied by uncontrolled singing
- Lord of The Rings, Pirates of The Caribbean, OH OH 300!!!! THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!!! It's My Life by Bon Jovi, I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith.

To the downright maniacally insane suggestion and creations
- the eclipse of the butt, the quadsquinted, Bobbin' Hood, Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your bear, just to name a few.

Insane i say, freaking insane, and of course there were the secrets and the insults and more insults and sarcasm. All this put together really made my high school years and you're one big part to thank for that. So thank you and i love you Sarah for making my life a whole new level of awesome, what would i do without you? Happy Birthday again =)


Anyway here are a few pics of the stupeed things we did that always puts a smile on me face. Hope it puts a smile on your face as well cause since you're so freaking far away i can't be there to actually put a freaking smile myself. Loving you will always be me =)

The Uglies. One of the many XD

The Stupids. Two way binoculars?

The Crazies. Ironwoman and Femalegatron.

The Downright Hilarious. Quadsquinting=)

And here i thought this was gonna be a short pathetic post, I THINK NOT! See Sarah this is how much i love you, i've just taken up about 2 hours of my time (Not that i have anything to do anyway) writing this blog post specially for you. Hope you enjoyed it HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOMAN!

It Is Hard.

Sarah Lois you were so right, it is hard. You'd probably slap me if you saw what i'm doing but heck you understand what it feels like right? And i couldn't last a week either hahahahaha such weak suckers we are eh? I feel rather disappointed in myself, so much for thinking all i had to do was pretend i couldn't see. Truth is there is no such thing as pretending, there is not such thing as not seeing, everything is just there. It just depends on how we want to take it in. Sigh...here i go being a total brat again....

Being Comfortable.

This one goes out to Helen & Sarah,
You guys helped me understand some things and helped me come up with this,
Two people who i absolutely can be myself with,
Two people who knows me like an open book,
Two people who i appreciate knowing and glad to call my friends,
You make me comfortable when i'm around you guys,
And i like you guys for that (insults included =) )
Thank you & I love you pigs.

I've read in a book that,

"the feeling of liking someone is when you can't say what you like in the person, but you know that spending time with the person is all you want."

That got me thinking, is being comfortable all that we're looking for? It's a nice feeling to be with people whereby you have nothing to hide from, where you can be your natural self, where you know that person knows you for you and will accept whatever follows. That's how the simple true friendship starts as well i believe. With truth. I'm not a great supporter of the truth, i mean, i don't believe that there's much out there. Everything has 2 sides, nothing is just as it is. But even so, i can't help but let myself foolishly hope that with my honesty at least it would be returned. Maybe i'm asking for too much?

Being comfortable. Yeah, i guess that would explain me most of the time. If i'm comfortable with you, i'll like you. Whether it's just for friendship or more. For me, it works out all the same. But if all it takes for me to like you is to just get me comfortable when i'm around you, that's just way too easy isn't it? Well, my answer to that is, the best things in life should be simple. I'll be honest and say i'm not always comfortable around a lot of people, don't bother asking, i'll deny it. Cause that's my problem not anyone else's. But if i am comfortable, i'll try to keep that for as long as possible, cause for me, being comfortable is something hard to come by.

But something haunts me. What happens when that place that was so comfortable before turns cold? It's a strange feeling, it wrenches in your gut to be there with someone you once knew so well and not know what to do. Worse still are the things that playback in your head. Thoughts on how easy it once was, how smiles were all real, how you could just sink without a care in the world and be you. So many things you wish you could say, but nothing forms a proper sentence anymore. It's not that old conversations can't be relived, but there is an emptiness to it. And awkwardness begins to thicken, and you begin to avoid, you begin to pretend to not care, you look away. Not you, I. And in the end, there will be nothing, nothing but 2 strangers sitting together. With no words uttered, no gazes exchanged, neither presence desired.
Nothing, Empty, Awkward & Pain.

Emotions jeopardize being comfortable. I wish i had none, but that defies any purpose of wanting to be comfortable then. In the end, i believe all solid relationships are built when you have no expectation from the other. Build it upon truths, and no hopes. Is that even possible? I don't know. All i know is i want to forget that comfortable feeling i once had. Then i'll stop trying, stop hoping, stop wanting, stop liking, stop loving. As of now, i'm watching it fade, i don't want to see this.

Tonight, with tears, i pray once more for February.

What Would I Do Without Them?

So... last night i was in a pretty bad dump again, yeah....hasn't totally worn off BUT!!

Today, started off with a superbly funny superman joke that got me grinning the whole car ride out. You know who you are, Thank you =). Then went out with me besties who instead of comforting me end up laughing, insulting and brutalizing my situation which was much needed. (That's how we love each other kay?).

Helen & Sarah you people have no freaking idea how much you people helped me get through the day. From the dropping of the ketchup bottle and flying spoons (which for the record i still can't wrap my head around) to the evil thoughts of removing kids out of those kiddie rides and stupid hero masks. And although my thoughts were bugging me most of the time, i managed to keep them at bay for a good 5 hours or so with you guys. So thank you you " babi basties" hahahahahaha and hopefully the next time i see you people i can get used to hugging you guys hahahahahaha.

Loads of <3 from me to the both of you who make my days "worse" than they already are =)

Blasting my ears with some good old GC that speak my mind. X)