Old Stuff - 14

I am a pebble in the ocean,

Descending and sinking.

You are the ocean floor,

Let your waves draw me home.

01.11.18

Old Stuff - 13

You,

You who's spun out of stars,

Who's laugh reverberates down my spine,

You make love easy.

-.10.18

Old Stuff - 13

Once again,

Another pool I can't enter,

Hurts,

It definitely hurts.

Old Stuff - 11

Drawing boundaries is a power move,
But you can't create boundaries and perpetually disrespect other people's boundaries,
That's just cowardice,
And manipulative,
What are you playing at?
If you want to know, ask.
Don't lurk on the rims for information,
Don't cling onto any vestige for a crumb,
Be an adult.

Old Stuff - 10

Relationships in 2019,
Are toxic and damaging.
We invite people into our lives with social media,
Constantly seeking to voice out our feelings and thoughts,
Only to have people react,
Some times unkindly.
Some windows should stay closed,
We've all a choice to make

Old Stuff - 9

I want to be needed, to be desired
I am needed when you share your troubles with me.
I know I want to be needed when I seek you out and listen and am curious.

I am desired, when you can't help but want to touch and monopolise me.
I know I want to be desired, when I dress up for you, and tease you and demand your attention indirectly.

Old Stuff - 8

What if these are things I want because of my past.
What if I get bored each time.
What if this is all I amount to.

Old Stuff - 7

I want wit,
I want humour,
I want to be teased,
I want to be desired,
To have you undress me with your eyes,
I want to want to seek you out,
I want to be curious about you,
I want instability,
I want to be useful.

Old Stuff - 6

I think I'm the kind of girl,
Who falls in love with people,
Who have yet to be at peace,
And that's my version of love,
The kind that will burn me to the ground,
Where I am the hero,
At the stake,
Gladly

Old Stuff - 5

Problem is
I'm wild fire,
I raise and suffocate those who desire to be next to me,
And yet,
I seek for a forest
That will burn
For eternity

Old Stuff - 4

Maybe it's a natural attraction
And that's one of the problems,
But more than that,
This is a pattern,
Repeated since I first could,
I get bored of the people I'm with,
I no longer find anything about the person interesting,
And with that my feelings fade,
And I feel guilty because I feel like we can't take steps backwards,
How do you stop saying I love you without hurting the other person?
I see moments where yes,
I've made the right choice maybe,
I'll most likely be happy if I do this right,
But most of the time,
It doesn't bother me if you're not there,
It's like my being doesn't need you,
What does that mean???
I don't actively seek you out,
I may get worried if you don't text,
Cause you may be dead,
But other than that,
I don't think I actually mind??
Is it supposed to be like,
Hmm yeah this is nice too
Or sure why not.
I don't actively seek you out,
What does this mean???
Does that mean I don't actually need you?
Is that what love is?
Then why are we even together?
All these are resounding in my head,
Are they warning signs?
Is this just the "honeymoon phase"?
What is going on?
I've been asking how people know and why people stay,
And I can't see how??
Does that mean we're wrong?
I don't know what to think