A Tunnel In Ireland.

Longest abandoned railway station in Ireland.

An echo,
A repetition of a single sound,
Hollow, Empty,
Never a reply.
Who hears me?
Who cares enough to listen?
No one.
To whom am i calling out to?
Anyone?
Someone?
You.

I'm calling your name with all my might,
Making only more echoes.
Will my voice be the only sound heard?
In this tunnel,
In my heart.
Will i never hear you calling back to me?
Then again why would you?
You've never bothered looking at this tunnel.
Always here but never seen.
Tonight,
I am a tunnel in Ireland.
=)

Playing : The Weepies - I Was Made For Sunny Days

Some nights.

And then there are nights like this where things come jumbling back into my mind.

HGCJVGa JVJHBLBhabJhb! UNLOAD ALL THE CRAP!

I know now it's not a mask, but that's all there is to it. Brief familiar moments come and go but they never stay. I still believe i'm a fool after all this time. I've reverted back to the stage where "the moment you realize there's nothing to talk about when you're just with that person". Oh and it sucks balls. Is it possible that you can feel like an awful person when you're with someone? But if that is what it is, then i'm just not suppose to be around that person anymore now should i? But i still try i guess? Well at least he does. Gah! Quiet time is always horrible for me, too many things pop up. When really it's nothing. Women!

Alright?

?

Will everything be alright? I always ask this question, the answer never varies much. It's never alright but it's never all that bad either. I remember a question you asked me once, if you had been in the same situation as me what would i do? I answered.... well at least i think i said i wouldn't change a thing and still be the same. I guess i lied? I didn't mean to.... just that there are too many things i fear. Is it my fault? Well maybe but that's always been me. Guess i'll know soon enough again. Like someone once told me, don't think so much la! XD What's to come will come right? =)

My heart beats faster than it should,
"Harness my heart and be still now",
That's what the song said.
A mask.
Time to put it on again?
Or shall i go without it?
Would it be alright?

Fever.

WOKAY! So...... i've been getting increasingly creepy on how much i like a person. Yeah.... I BLAME IT ON THE FEVER!!!!!! XD But yeah for some reason being sick leaves me with too much time alone with my thoughts and that always spells trouble for females. Funny how one second i'm all in love with this guy and another i'm slapping my face going "WHAT CHU THINKING BITCH?" yeah... somewhere along those lines. But really i've been having these bipolar incidents a lot. maybe i'm bipolar? *gasp!* Okay, okay i admit i'm nuts. But really? Think hard and very justly, what woman isn't? =D Ngeh don't matter.

Sometimes i just wanna call him up and say i love you, sometimes i feel like kicking myself in the ass for liking him. End of the day it still falls down on the fact that i like you very very much. Nothing else to it. But he's taken and he's happy. And i'm..... well i'm still in the "moving on" phase. But it's all good. =)

The temperature's rising,
Your nose is stuck,|
A cough forms at each intake of breath.
I'm sick.
Love sick?
Now i'm just pushing it.
=D

Playing : Selena Gomez - Hit The Lights.

Maybe I'm Just Insane?

I find my thoughts floating back to you, why? Why? WHY? I don't mean to, but you're always there on my mind. Everything i see leads me back to you. It seems as though i still can't let go, I'm sorry. I didn't lie when i said i'm happy if you are, but i just wished that i'd be the one to make you happy, even when i know i can't. I'm too selfish. Too selfish. Maybe i'll wait, but for how long? And wouldn't that mean that i'm just waiting for you to fall? I don't want that. I don't know. I don't know what i'm saying. I always say that women are all crazy, well this is proof that i'm no exception. What i'd give to turn time back and say what i really felt at the start and did what i wanted to instead of holding my foolish pride. But what are the chances? Nothing stops, not now not ever.

I'm head over heels in love with you,
Or at least i think i am.
Maybe i'm just insane?
Insane would be an understatement.
I still wait,
I still hope,
One day,
You'll change your mind.
And that i'll be right here saying i told you so,
Play hard to get,
But still give you all my heart.
Foolish dreams for a foolish girl.
I am foolish.
I am insane.
I am in love.
In love with you.

Playing : James Blunt - I Really Want You.

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing.

"To leave". What does it mean "to leave" ? Is it to step foot into a new world? Is it to run away? Or is it a way to create space between all that is yours and yourself? It can be all of this, yet none of it. Reasons, reasons. Are they that important when it comes to leaving? Shouldn't what matter be whether you'll be staying or leaving?

I may be having a small trip. Not too far, but no where close. It's a place i love yet now i dread to go. Why? Why is it that i feel like holding back from having an experience not many will have? Again with the reasons! All i can come down to now is that, i don't want to leave because i'm afraid of what i might miss out here. I understand well that not leaving will be a loss of opportunity as well but i can't help it. The dread i feel in my heart, i haven't lost hope? Yes and no. Some part of me wants to believe things can change in a blink of an eye but another tells me that i just want to have as many memories as i can.

I feel torn. Truth is, if i stay, nothing will change. If i go, i may open my eyes to newer things. But that tiny spark of hope underlying in my heart. Curse it! But when i think about it, it's not like i'm leaving forever am i? It's just...

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing.

Tonight I wished,
Just a little bit,

For you to be here with me.

To hug me,

To be mine to kiss.

A fantasy i made that will never be fulfilled,

So i pray you enter my dreams,

To stay till morning shatters that world.

I don't wanna miss a thing,

I don't wanna miss you.

Yet,

Like a fool,

I wish on.