New year?

The fairy tales in my mind will forever be only a dream
A fake memory of what I wished I could do, planned to do or even tried to do.
I guess I haven't stopped dreaming, so I haven't stopped wishing either.

It's a new year, but in my mind, you're still there.
 Something I want to put behind me but my heart won't allow it.
Am I stupid for still holding on?
Yes. I know it, but still still...

It's a new year, Please god send me someone who will sweep me off my feet like the one in my heart did. Someone new, someone who'll wait for me if I made a horrible mistake. Someone like him but will like me back.

But who am I to ask such things? Happy New Year, I still like you. =)

Playing : He Is We - Pour Me Out.

Japan shortened.

So I've been in Japan for 3 days now and it's been awesome, the food is just to die for and the view... Well let's just say its a male with raging hormones greatest dream. So man uberly short pants and skirts and exposed skin in the cold weather, and the shoes good god the shoes are beautiful! Will upload photos once I get back to Malaysia cause I'm blogging from my I pod right now and I'm getting a cramp in my right shoulder cause I'm typing all this under freaking heavy futon. So yeah that's it for now still haven't played with snow though.

On a side note : I realise that I really mean nothing to you, but its just not a good enough reason for me to let go of these feeling I have for you. What would it take for me to make you nothing to me?

Christmas.

It's Christmas,
It's one step closer to something new,
Will something new be waiting for me?
I hope so.
Out with the old and in with the new is what they say,
But it's not that easy.
Merry Christmas.
Even now my thoughts don't leave you,
I do hope you're happy.
=)

New

Heart feels heavy to leave, I'll miss christmas and new years eve. Though nothing would probably be done but the thought of being close enough would help me sleep better at night.... I hope. Stop it stop it, my heart and mind all always all over the place now, well mainly they're with you but well.... Oh god I'm insane hahahahaha well any guy reading this blog would know that I'm 135% curayzeh! I'm not proud of it but hey proves I'm still female right? Hahahahaha ah... Please let February come sooner. And let uni start faster so I can be with new people, and hopefully find someone new who'll like me back. I worry so that this feeling I have will never go. Gah! Go away stupid heart! You make me a horrible person!

Not Yet.

Not yet.
Not yet.
That sting still burns in my heart.
I feel pathetic.
But i'm just being honest,
I still like you.

Night Drives & Memories.

Late night drives.
Putrajaya roads.
Speeding Kancils.
Loud music.
Insane drivers.
Gutsy change of lanes.
I'm driving,
But my mind takes me back to when i was in "shotgun".
All these,
Memories,
Never fail to make me smile.
But everything is becoming more and more bittersweet.
And like i've said before,
it's still more bitter than sweet.
I still wonder,
What happened to those times?
I guess i'll never know.

Mistakes.

I hope i won't ever make the same mistakes again. Whether it was the mistake of doing something different to have you, or changing how much i let myself fall, either way i don't want this to happen again. I need to get a new community of friends and fast. It's the only way i can get my mind off what shouldn't be important.