Stupid Reminiscing.

Why do you do this to yourself Jane? It was all good but nooooo you just had to look for that video didn't cha? Stupid bit......

The past reminds us why we are what we are today and it tells us to learn from our mistakes. I don't think I'll ever learn. Because I always seek out that nostalgic feeling that started it all.

P.s - I'll rewind those few seconds as many times as I want, thank you very much!

Never Thought, Never Knew.

I never thought I would tell you,
Never thought I had the guts,
Never thought you would ask,
Never thought you wouldn't judge me,
Never thought it would come to this.

I never knew it was so easy yet so hard,
Never knew it wouldn't be awkward,
Never knew I would admit to everything,
Never knew I would say so much.
Never knew I needed this.

Things we don't think of, things we don't know.
Sometimes, it's not so bad to find out.

P.s - I know I really shouldn't but I wonder if you wonder about what would have been.

Theme song for the night :

The Best-Worst Day Ever (for now).

That awkward moment when some guy working in a restaurant hits on you. Oh god...... really, really like no kidding.....WHY????

In short my day = Suicide talk + Sathya + mee with milkshake + VOMIT + getting hit on.

(Not bad?)

So basically mom's been in Indonesia for the past 1 week, leaving me with UNLIMITED WIFI USAGE AND FREEDOM!!!!!! *magical music* Well it doesn't really make that much difference if she's not here anyway cause my dad's around but like, life's less stressful without her popping out from somewhere reminding me I'm not good enough. Okay.... that sounded bad, but we all have that one parent that pushes us right? If you do, you'll know what I mean.

Anyhoo..... Got up at 7a.m for a talk on depression and suicide. It was okay, pretty informative and oh I think I'm depressed hahahahahaha! Which is..... just wonderful but yeah whatever. Not suicidal ......YET!!! Hahahahaha but seriously I'm all good. =D

Went to Sathya's after the talk cause well the Clay Workshop got cancelled.... wait I mean postponed, which was superbly disappointing. Went to some cafe after picking up her car and like had this "ying yong" mee which came out to be twice the portion I thought it to be and a pretty darn big bottle of milkshake like juice called "sunrise". It was all great......at first. I mean me and Sathya practically laughed our heads off about being mean and oh so many events that's happened over the past month. *cough hotdog cough miss-texting cough* Ah gosh.... I think I've found someone who really matches my brain in IMU.

So towards the end, I couldn't finish the mee but I shoved most of it down leaving like 3 scoops left on the plate and then attempted to finish the over sized drink which had loads of milk in it. That's where the trouble began......You know that sweaty, cold, stomach grinding feeling you get when you know you're gonna hurl? Yeah..... It hit me, BAD. I felt the cold creeping up my neck and I told myself, "okay, okay, just breathe, you're not gonna hurl, let the food go down".....we talked some more and I find that I can't laugh anymore, and I need to burp, but if I did..... I would have hurled for sure. So I held it in and told Sathya I was gonna hurl very soon so we ciao-ed the place. But while walking back...... I was waaaaay to woozy to keep it in and I just know, I'M GONNA BLOW! So I was like "Sathya..... where can I vomit?" The sidewalk didn't have a freaking drain, they had at all covered up with concrete so fuck my life I had to hurl on it...... And true enough it ALL came out but surprisingly it didn't feel bad, not one bit. Unlike the usual burn you get, it was just like "PHEW! thank god that's out!" and I could actually burst out laughing after! Got back to Sathya's place without hurling so apparently it was all out and I just over ate. Well on a side note, I wasn't feeling too good from this morning so cut me some slack will you?

After that I slept and yeah went home and went to Murni. Typical outside eating spot when my mom's not around. So right.... everything is fine and dandy. Had great convos with my dad ranging from politics to the media to statistics to my uni assignment. Then I go pay the bill at the counter and like..... okay so before I get to the story, there's this guy who works in Murni that kinda well..... has been hitting on me? I mean I find him sweet and all....but......NO. hahhahahahahahaha He always like tosses smiles at me, tries to tend to our table as frequent as he can and always and I swear ALWAYS gives me discounts for my food. So no, I'm not full of myself dammit! And this time..... he wasn't at the counter but...... his friends were like "oh, yours is free today. *+ smiley face*" and I'm just like "what? *you've gotta be kidding me face + oh please don't be what I think it's gonna be*" and they just smile and said "our manager said it's on the house....... by the way, can he have your number?".

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be frank with you and admit that I act like a prick when people do shit like this to me. Okay maybe not a full out prick cause I don't throw a bitch fit and go all NOOOOOO all over the place. I just...... keep repeating "you're kidding right?" with that stupid face of mine. I FEEL AWKWARD OKAY!!!! And that's the only way I know how to react..... So I kept that up and I was like "can I say no?" Cause like I'm not giving some dude my number just cause he paid for my food! Jeez! This went on for what seemed to be like forever and they were like "Never mind, the food is on the house, next time...." *oh god...... kill me now..... metaphorically of course* My dad just laughs..... and I'm well flattered but like.....like......nooo...... nooooo...... nooooo...... I hope I never have to go back to that place..... sigh......  Today was the best-worst day ever!

Something that made me laugh at night =D

The Things I Wonder About.

I do wonder, what is one person's value to another? The answers are endless and sometimes it may not be the one we're hoping for. But that doesn't call on us to severe all ties, we sometimes still choose to linger. Not because we're stubborn, but because it is comfortable.

P.s - Why do you seek me out? Is it simply because I am there or is it because you find comfort in my company?

P.p.s - When you said I was too nice, I wonder if you were referring to why I did what I did.

Fun Day and Downloads!

Awesome day today, dressed up like a chic for once, first 2 classes were cancelled and karaoke-ed like a mad person with my psycho friends. Man I never knew how stress relieving loud and incoherent singing was hahahahah!

Gonna start my late night Scrubs marathons. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE UP TO SEASON 8 OF SCRUBS!!! Love that show.

I have this, all the animated Batman movies and 7gig plus of DC comics to fuel me for the next I dunno..... Till the end of this year? Fuck my studies!!!

Anyways, yeah that's it for now. I hope my throat doesn't die tomorrow oh oh and I'm suppose to guide children this Saturday! I am just jumping for joy! *thick sarcasm*

Raya and Shit.

Well this was long overdue! I thought I posted this up, dang it! Raya this year was superbly insane, well maybe not superbly but insane? Sorta. It's 2.30 am-ish so I'll just cut the whole Raya story short.

1.) Good news is I'm an aunt now, yeah..... baby Aaron was born on Raya eve so that pretty much cut our "staff" availability by 2. Though my grandma had been here for almost 3 weeks and she helped cooked almost all the awesome dishes during the puasa and Raya periods. Gotta love ma grandma!

2.) "Slaved" away for the first 5 days of Raya (not including the days I helped with cookie making and rendang stirring and stuff). The day before Raya (18th of August), me and my second brother slaved away with chores and cooking and chores and chores and chores and more cooking and cleaning up stuff and stuff late as expected. Did I mention that my finals were on the 27th?

3.) Anyway 1st day of Raya I believe was relaxed cause we didn't have many people come to the house. So blah!

4.) 2nd day was a lil crazy but I wasn't there cause.....wait wait I tell story! That was the day my second brother's friends were scheduled to come over so yeah everything was all good and stuff, until my cousins came. And it like BOOOOM! Ok so there weren't that many people just like 5 ish brother's friends, 2 of my sis in-laws family, 1 of my older brother's best friends, my family of 8 (plus grandma and baby) and my 7 well built cousins? Thta's not too much for a medium sized terrace house right? Right? IT'S JUST LIKE 23 PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE!!!!!! So yeah, we ran out of chicken for curry (WHICH I NOW PROUDLY COOK!) so..... I drove my dad to get that and some other stuff, got back and ended up heading out with my cousins to 2 different shopping malls, watched Expandables 2, had "lunch", dinner, dessert AND learned how to play an addictive card game. Got home at 10 and went on with the card game till 12 before the ciao-ed. Super duper awesome day! All that with finals coming up on the 27th, just sayin, course I finished studying 1 subject already so thank god.

5.) 3rd day was as crazy cause it was booked for my mom's possie. Don't remember much other than the oh so wonderful fried chicken my dad makes. And the mess but that was still ok. Really, it was even with like yet again 20+ people flooding the house again.


P.s - I don't remember how many times we talked throughout Raya, was it 3 times? I can't be sure but you sure as hell know how to make me smile and laugh. =)

P.p.s - Have I said this before? Cause even if I have I'll say it again, all of my favorite stories are about you. =)

Life and such and such.

Feel like I haven't been in here in ages! I think it's only been a week plus? But still!! Anyway....so the new semester has started and oh I got 3.35 last sem which my mom did not kill me for, which is...... Epicly weird. Expected to die from scoring so low. This sem I have to juggle 6 subjects hopefully I don't screw up again! It's gonna be tough especially now that they've mixed all the semesters together, IMU is cheap that way hahahahaha but seriously.

On a lighter note, I've been going batman crazy! Downloaded almost all of the batman animated movies and now I'm beginning with the comics but I'm focussing more on Dick Grayson and so on. So yeah....

That's about it folks =D

P.s - Can't possibly compete with that. Ah well, never could to begin with.