What Ifs & What Then.

I don't understand why, even if I don't have that feeling I used to have, I'm still...... Easily wounded by the thought of "what if?"

What if I had done something back then?

What if I had been more daring?

What if I had more freedom?

What if I had made a move before she did?

What if it was me not her?

What if,

What if?

What ifs'.

Too many what ifs' still stay within my mind. But then it dawns on me, what about the "what then" part of the equation?

If I had gotten you, what then?

If we were together now, what then?

If you had chosen me over her, what then?

What then?

What changes?

And it's these thoughts that calms my storms. Because I can't think of how things would change, so why ponder on the "what ifs'" if you can't see a solution for "what then".

But still, seeing you happy makes me wish I was her and seeing her happy makes me wish I was her.

P.s - Gotta get over this! Being a bloody girl here!

How I see the sky =)