Note to self

Note to self: stop falling in love with boys who have issues liking someone else, it's just tiring. Just stop. Fucking 3 strikes hello.

Down

I know it's probably a challenge,
But not telling me anything beforehand,
Just dropping off the grid like that,
Do you think about me at all?
I see you're still alive,
But it irks me even more.
Cause honestly,
I see you with your friends and still doing what you do,
It kills me.
I don't want someone who thinks little of me,
Even if we're not together,
This is cruel,
You're cruel.
If you don't want me anymore just tell me,
I don't want to wait like this.
Let me cut you out swiftly,
Because i don't want to be the only one who wants this.
I'm tired of games.

Down

I don't need this,
To have to guess what's happening.
I don't have my shit together right now,
This isn't helping.
I respect ones boundaries and won't intrude incisively

To this

It is this,
The void.
The future.
The unknown.

It is the times I run into it just to be swallowed by it,
It is learning to dance around it but not with it,
It is a creeping movement that grows and growls.

It is this,
The fear.
The silence.
The uncertainty.

Hush.
Exhale.
Be still.
Wait.
Listen.
Decide.

Up

It scares me a lot,
How much I want this to work.
I worry if this isn't the right choice.
But i somehow think this is what it is,
To feel and to be part of,
To put my heart on a slab and pray it doesn't get smashed,
That I'll be dissected slowly and tenderly.
Because I think I'd rather risk being butchered alive than pretending this island is enough.
So hold my hands,
Send me flowers,
Show me the sting of living.
Because even if this is fleeting,
I want this.