Letters?

I'm thinking of writing some letters? I don't know, I'm just so lazy, but I really must finish off what I had started. Sigh.... I'll start soon? =b

I Wanna.

A song that just won't leave my head.

P.s - I don't know how to work up the courage to just tell you to pass this thing I have to her. I don't want to end up never giving what I had planned to give, in a sense, I don't want to keep it with me. It gives me a reason to keep wanting to see you. And that is just sad and twisted. Ah gosh! I need to man up! And fast!

A Vow.

So basically this is a short one inspired by the movie "The Vow" which i just watched with me Uni mates, Zaidah, Shreas & Yashi. Don't worry, I won't put up any spoilers here.....well other than the vows that struck me to type up this post. =) Watch it, it's a relatively good movie. Overall 8/10 from me.

"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To agree to disagree on Red Velvet Cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home."

"I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

A vow. 

A promise. 

An act signifying commitment. 

Such a strong and beautiful thing it is. 

At the thought of these 2 words, one thinks of marriage and of the rituals involved. 

But can't a vow be something simple? 

Remove the wedding bells and the rings. 

Get rid of the holy man and the crowd. 

Push aside all external distractions and the need to impress.

Leave out all but yourself and ask yourself,
"Do you love this person in front of you?"
If the only answer is "Yes."
Then that is the only vow you'll ever need.
=)

I didn't what the usual 2 rings looking magical crap.
So i just mixed it with my Converse fetish. =D
Kudos to the photographer.

Please, Just Tell Me.

Had that awesome hype of talking to many people at once. I know.... loser much. hahahahahaha!

As always you surprise me when you do talk to me, for some reason I always assume you'll never talk to me again. I really want to apologize to you, but I can't say this to you directly. I'm sorry for not initiating any conversations with you, I truly am. It's just that, I've always been the one to start before, guess I just don't want to be hurt anymore, neither do I want you to think of me as an annoyance.

I still smile like an idiot when you talk to me, but know that those feelings are not as strong as they used to be. No. Perhaps they are still strong, but I've just come to accept and let go of that past we had. I can't explain it, but it feels different-ish? *shrugs & smiles*

But one thing though, I loved to talk to you because we never held anything back from each other. Maybe you see it as a private matter, if so then I understand. But if you're not telling me simply because you're worried that it may hurt me in any way, please don't worry. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's her. You can just tell me straight out, really don't worry. I'd rather be hurt than lied to or hidden from. But I won't be hurt anymore. So please, just tell me, there's no need to hide anything. =)

I've already accepted =)

Assumptions And The Obvious.

How can you differentiate between one person just being him/herself and if one person is actually going out of their way to catch your attention?

Actions are, obviously not as clear as words. They leave too big a gap for misinterpretations & assumptions. But sometimes, that action expresses an intent and or emotion that is clear as day.

The fear & embarrassment of making the wrong assumptions Vs The fear & regret of letting an obvious message pass by. This has always been a major conflict within those who are as I would put it "emotionally interested" in another. How do we know for sure that there is "chemistry" and the flirting process is on the go?

There is always the option of asking straight out, but I'm not one to have those kind of guts. It's as my teacher would term it - "Un-Jane". (Still have to figure out how to make myself Un-Jane). It would clarify a lot of things but surely it would cause awkwardness which is unneeded. So I'll yet again leaves life to chance.

Being "Friendly", "Too Friendly" & just plain thinking too much. I wish things were in black and white.... But then again, where would the fun be if you can't keep secrets? =)

Ps - Psychological tests are so freaking awesome!!!

Pps - Related to this post, It was something strange to me, but really who does that? Actions interpreted would show that you want me to notice you, but what if there is nothing to be interpreted? Anyway, thank you Zaidah for coming late hahahahaha! This thing's making me wear that stupid smile again. =)

A random photo =)

A Fool.

What I'd give for those few words.
Still foolish,
letting go is never easy.
But even if I got them,
what would I do with them?
I laugh at my own foolishness & greed.
I don't even know the answer to the question I want.
What a fool, what a fool.
=)

Puzzling.

I don't understand why some people remove stuff from their blogs. Is it because they realize they wrote it in a fit of rage or in a swift whirlwind of emotions and they want to take it back? I mean, are they afraid that people would stumble upon it if they read their blogs? If so why write it in the first place? Blogging can be used as an outlet for a lot of things but why take back what you want to say when all the words have already spilled out from your mouth? Puzzling indeed. Maybe, just maybe they just don't want the people who are already reading their blogs to worry? Even now you still puzzle me so.

Zipping up your thoughts

Your Voice.

Went on a crazy emo song hunt. And found this baby!! Anyway funny thing was the moment I found this, you decided to talk to me. Hmmm.... It's a lil awkward talking to you, I mean those comfortable silences don't exist anymore. But still, I'm glad you still tell me things that you won't others. And yes, like my status, it's great to hear your voice. =)


Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy <3

Crazy Dreams

Gosh. I must say sometimes I really hate dreams, well only the ones that make you feel like you haven't slept a wink and if it's a hectic dream.

Dreamt that I was being chased by some maniac while looking for Subway cookies hahahahaha of all things! I can't remember who the creep was, but all I know is I knew him well, that and I really wanted those damned cookies hahahaha.

Ps - I hope nights like last night occur more often. Maybe then the awkwardness would disappear?

Pps - I've been going crazy over Converse shoes. God I love em Chucks! <3

BUY ALL THE CHUCKS!!!!

They Who Made Me Smile.

Those friends that make you smile like an idiot for hours are the ones you should keep. Course, looking back, many of them are now strangers. How many will leave and how many will stay? What are the efforts i'll put in to keep them? I don't know but for now thank you for those who have made me smile and thank you for those who still make me smile.

Death to Korean Dramas!!!!

I have had it! With these motherfucking Koreans and their motherfucking dramas on the motherfucking tv!

Ok I'm gonna lay it out here, Korean dramas are good but fuck that when you have a good American movie playing!! Jeez! Personally I don't fancy the Korean culture much unless it's hot chicks dancing but all there is to appreciate is mindless entertainment! Same plots, same storyline, same faces yada yada no depth! Gah!! Fuck this shit! *flips table*

Basically I'm just really pissed that someone would rather watch some stupid Korean shit over Gothica. Yeah....

Past.

Why is it that when we're sick we tend to think about the past? I mean.... ok maybe it's just me. See thing is, I should be worried about what I've missed in class, what opportunities I'll be missing because I can't go out.(13th & 14th is fundraising day but i can't perform on stage with my condition D=) also I should be worried about the upcoming quizzes and my ptptn and presentations but no..... I'm stuck here with all the time in the world thinking about him.

Shit. I know I've been fine for some time now given uni and all, but now that my mind is left free to wonder, it decides to open almost sealed doors. Scumbag brain........

For some reason, you're always there on my mind! Come to think of it..... Why? I still can't figure it out you know, what is it about you that I miss so much? Is it the fact that you were once my best friend? Or is it because I simply miss your company? Or is it because I felt played when you decided to choose someone else? I still ask so many questions, when will I let them go? Sigh...... Doesn't matter, it still falls down to the same fact.

I lost, I ruined everything between us, and you? I think you don't care anymore, or maybe you never did.

Ps - being sick makes you depressed as hell!

I think I know the ceiling better now

Sick Days & Mad Nights.

Woke up in intervals of 15 to 20 to 30 minutes up till 5.30am last night. My body wants to sleep but somehow the minute i get into a deep sleep, one part of my body would send a sharp pain up my spine and there went my sleep. Either that or it was too hot or too cold. And it'd take me a hell of a long time of rolling around and changing positions to get into a comfortable spot which lasts for 30 minutes max.

Another asshole of a thing was some fucking scumbag mosquito decided to visit around 4am ish. And that was when I almost made it into a long deep sleep. Bit me on the hand... Fine I was too tired to bother. BUT THEN!!!! It decided to swirl around my ears making that fucking annoying sound! And I snapped! Sprayed my room with half a can of mosquito repellent while cursing the whole mosquito race. Only after that did I manage to sleep in peace! Gosh! Please be over soon...

Woke up feeling shittier than the day before. The pain I felt brought me to tears. Couldn't stop myself from crying the whole morning. My body hurts when I move and it hurts when I am standing still. I have to think twice before I sit down on the freaking toilet bowl! I don't know what to do with my body. Everything I do hurts. My throat hurts as well. And it seems I will not be graced with sleep. D'= help me....

Ps - even 9gag cant help sooth the pain

Save Me.

Just when I thought having a fever was bad..... Sigh..... I hope this all blows over in a week. God i feel like crap now.

On a side note :
I'm technically not religious but every time I get sick, I have this idea that I did something very very wrong and god's just kinda giving a small dose of hell to me. They say time spent being sick is time that should be spent on repenting sins. Silly, I know! But that's just how things are in my head.

Ps - my whole body is in ultra annoying pain. Somebody save me....

Another Skidoodle =D

Feverish....

Think I'm coming down with a fever..... Gosh I don't like this feeling. )=

Kills Self Doodle in english class

I Studied! + The Matrix

Managed to make notes and remember some shit for an upcoming quiz, i must say not bad hahahaahahahahaha. I think today must have been the first time in a looong while that i actually exhausted my brain studying! But now that i think of it.... oh god i have so much to study! Intro Psych quiz on Monday and Bio Psych quiz on Thursday. GAH! I have to get ready! .....tomorrow.... XD

Meanwhile, i've been spending every night watching movies, and i know... i know... i shouldn't sleep late bladidiblabla but i can't help it! I just need some midnight awesome. Watched The Matrix yesterday...well technically this morning and i was reminded of how awesome it was!

Mission for tonight : Watch Matrix Reloaded =D

Kay gotta get back to pretending to study =D Till i write or type again!

Awesome 3 in 1 DVD is awesome! <3

Flirt?

That awesome moment when two people are flirting with each other simply by exchanging glances.

Today I was put back on cloud 9. I may be wrong but it sure as hell felt great. =D

Smile For Others.

Can't help but smile when I read about other peoples happy endings. Yes, even if I don't believe there is one for me. =)

Ps - I'm able to create stories in my head again. But my nights are still a little restless. Soon it'll all go away. =)

Currently listening to - I'm Through by Ingrid Michaelson.

Maybe so?

Walk On.

The past,
Every second that's passed adds to a minute,
And that to an hour, then a day is gone.
Before you know it,
A year.

Am I the only one who wonders,
"what could I have done differently?".
Truth be told,
What's the point in wondering?
Wondering doesn't turn back time.
Nothing can.

Time,
Cruel and kind.
Constantly pushing us forward,
Forcing us to part with something.
Helps us break free,
Numbs the pain and regrets that once was.

What's left for us?
What's there for me?
My eyes open and the answer is there.

A path.
The future.
A world of doors.
The keys bunched up in my hands.
All I need to do now is to keep walking and open as many doors as possible.
=)

Awesome Chucks with Zaidah

Orientation - Wiggling Performance

Luckily one of my seniors took a video footage of our performance for wiggle night and here it is =) enjoy~

Orientation - Finale/ Bore-Me-To-Death Night

Was pretty disappointed with tonight's performances and was close to borderline insanity boredom. Gosh! Wasted my Thursday just for that! Sadly i have to say it wasn't worth it lo =(

Plus side was my team got number 2 out if 14 groups!!!!! We be bloody awesome! And yeah... That's pretty much it. Goodnight. =)

Wen Xiang, Sid & Zhi Hao =D