Can I Dream?

Wondering what would be now if I had been a lil different about things. The mini optimist in me says "Things will turn out perfectly, just you wait!", but the dominant pessimist in me keeps bringing me back here saying " I told you so but no.... You had to just go and hope that maybe exceptions exist!".

Hope is a beautiful thing no doubt, but I'm losing hope in hope. They say the first cut's the deepest. Even more when deep inside of you, you had already warned yourself against it. But ah well... Back to being a waiting pessimist. =) Here's another piece of my mind :

Even "friends" have its significance, but I don't feel significant...
Am I your friend?
Or am I just the backup?
I want to be like them,
But history makes awkward.
And I am not them.

I guess...
I'm still trying to be.
I'm looking for that "feeling" in the wrong place,
Always in the wrong places,
Always the wrong decisions,
It's all wrong...

It's 01.18am,
And I'm here,
Wondering.
Waiting for the dreams to take hold,
50/50 chance comes next,
A sweet dream or a nightmare,
And a 126% reality awaits me at the break of dawn.

I still have that one wish,
I don't know if I can make it come true,
But if I really can't fulfil it,
Then at least let my dreams last longer.
Is that possible?