Raya (End) - Maybe i'll say it.

The thought turns more and more adamant

What is this i ask?
It's a strange thought this one.
I'm glad it's walked up to the doorstep of my mind.
But somehow it feels like betrayal.
A lie to myself.
But truly is it?
Maybe it's because of the absence.
But if it is then wouldn't that make me fickle?
Perhaps i am.
Or maybe i'm just tired?
Nah, I know myself more than that.
A better idea would be i'm more fickle than tired of this.
But both nonetheless.
Either way doing what i'm doing makes me a liar in a sense.
A selfish liar? Yes maybe i just am.
But if it's a liar i must be.
Then so be it.
Not everything stays the same.
That is what i'll say.
Not as an excuse but because it is true.
Those words creep closer and closer to my lips each day.
Just as the pain fades so will these feelings.
Maybe I'll say it.