Restriction of My Own.

Things don't seem to be the same anymore,
But how can it?
Well, to me it can't.
Or maybe for now.
I don't know how to make it normal.
It all feels really strange,
I've managed to set control over what i do,
Yet there are certain things that i can't help but do.
And no that awful wrench no longer exists,
But something else has taken that feeling's place.
I don't know how to explain it,
Is it guilt? Is it suppressed anger? Is it a side effect from denial?
What is this?
Perhaps it's restriction.
Not set by anyone, but by myself.
Restrictions onto things i feel i no longer have the place to carry out.
Restrictions onto showing what i normally would.
Restrictions onto being a version of me.
Without them, I can't keep a clear conscience.
Yet i puzzle why i feel guilt.

What is it am i trying to prevent?
Puzzled i am.